His words cut to the quick in a way that they should not as she is Ananiel, an Angel of Lord, and yet at her very core, she is but Anna Milton, the girl who fell in love with the Righteous Man. It was that girl that his words wounded, though she knew she deserved no less.
She knew she betrayed him, that she tried to take away everything he held most dear, for it wasn’t Dean’s own existence that mattered, but that of his brother. His mother. She’d threatened that and for him, perhaps it was the most unforgivable sin of all.
Others would have left it alone. Anna tried to do what she thought was right and she failed. Others never would have dared tread here again, not only for fear of the Righteous Man’s wrath, but for fear of retribution:
Her brother had smote her down once; what was to say he would not again? Even so, the end of her existence was not something she feared, not any longer for she had gone into that void and had come out vastly unchanged.
Heaven’s own torture had not been enough to darken the flame of her love for him; nor had non-existence. Her own light had been snuffed out and yet that particular ember had sparked the moment she’d returned.
That was a light that would truly never die, no matter if Anna herself died a hundred thousand deaths.
“–Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” Not really; for a time, Anna truly was dead, but, “you of all people should know, Dean, that often, what’s dead never really stays dead.” But perhaps she should’ve; she loved him enough that she could try again if he so willed it.
▎┊《 ▓▓▓ ♞
PERHAPS AT FAULT is the confinement of the starry solitude that has him occluded in a haven of steam and smoke, scorching his veins from the inside out, but now that he is freed from the chaotic tempests marking his last encounter with the auburn crowned seraph before him ( now that there aren’t any scattered fragments of dread and panic clouding his mind ) – the alleged tranquility of his psyche leaves room for a crystalline judgment, as glassy as the musing rivers and as GLACIAL as the winter which bestows them.
A SELF SUPPRESSED beastly instinct attempts to battle its way to surface, roll the dice and wheel the gears of a long DUE offense, though said instinct must first rage war against his composure, steadied in the unflinching lock of his gaze and motionless stiffness of his muscles ( seems that he’s wearing a cloak threaded with blinking explosives, so much that he fears any shift in his footing might set them off and set ablaze the GAS pumping in his blood ).
YET HE DOESN’T rush to follow the advice of the malevolent hushes soothing at the back of his head; and he TRIES, he suffocates those wrathful demons and opts to LISTEN. Albeit, it turns out to be pointless. Her lips move, words beating at his eardrums that drag electricity down his spine, and all he can HEAR is a speech sewed with knives and arsenic. No matter the excuse she bears – at least for NOW – he cannot seem to manage to keep himself in a state of apathetic defense and whatever she pleads, all he hears is FAULT and his only active sense becomes SPITEFULNESS.
WHICH IS WHY he feels how those perilous claws gnaw at his tongue and dip it in poison, nudging him over his own interior edge into a pit of FIRE, glowing in the chartreuse of irises that PREY on her figure, and he steps forth — several considerable steps even — the weight of his scowl oppressing his optics into a vivid narrow.
❛ hilarious irony, though. the way YOU handle things, i’d sure as hell be roadkill right now an' you’d have no one to yammer pity stories to. wouldn’t that suck?❜
She’d combed the whole world over – twice – before she found him. He’d been hidden from her, hidden from them all by the sigils carved into his ribs and yet Anna knew his soul anywhere. It was a beautiful thing, to her, broken even as it was and the moment she saw it from overhead, she wept.
There was much to say, and yet for a fortnight, she kept her distance, remaining hidden from his sight until such a time came that she could not bear her secrecy any longer.
She waited until Sam was gone, to ensure that her Righteous Man did not see her presence as anymore of a threat than he was sure to. She waited until he was alone and then she appeared, the only indication of her presence a slight ripple of the space around her. For a moment, she was lost for words, a peculiar thing for an angel.
“…Dean.”
▎┊《 ▓▓▓ ♞
GUARDED IN THE heart of raw obscurity — he’s seen this pattern repeat itself for the latest heavy midnights; solitary, stripped of access to all dialogues but the ones with his tortuous psyche, so razed by the crossfire exchange on the battlefield of his soul. It’s nothing ideal, it’s nothing to aid him in amassing his ever CLOAKED pieces and, although in times like these he wishes he could sight over his shoulder and find a listener willing to sit through this Pandora'x Box of unspoken words, whenever presented with the ( ever so rare ) ’ how are you feeling ? ’ he merely twists the key in the lock one more time and hurls it into a distance not even HE can reach.
MIDNIGHT HAS STRUCK two hours ago, around the time the younger of those so reluctantly labeled as CHOSEN ONES spoke through the elder’s dormant daze and announced that he would drive the car a few towns away to a case ( as always, conjoined with a tight lipped reassurance that he can ’ HANDLE ’ it and that Dean needed to rest ). Albeit, slumber is a condition independent of someone’s will and he doubts he’s been able to keep his eyes shot longer than fifteen minutes, which is why ultimately he’s given up entirely and settled on forestalling Sam’s laptop — for more AND less serious reasons.
DROWSINESS HAS YET to dull out his senses, especially when they have grown used to certain habitual customs. First the murmur of hollowness being lacerated by the faintest FLUTTER, and then the sensation of a presence dragging tension down his spine, he does become aware of the disruption of his semi normality. His body reacts before his sight lands on the frame noted at the corners of his eyes, and he abruptly ascends from his seat, feet nailing themselves into the floor, in parallel with the peer that finally reaches the room’s second inhabitant and that helps him put a name on the familiar face.
HIS FEATURES BECOME a highway of chaotic trespassers, when a gradient of emotions paints his feedback with diversity — a poignant sense of AWE, a bubbling rush of WRATH, vile and animalic instincts of OFFENSE and, in the end, they all merge on the foundation of an ( apparent ) CHILLING COMPOSURE ( though he fools no one, when the verdant of his hues is replaced by the timberwolf of DAGGERS and when his speech barely spills through gritted teeth).
❛ — you sons of bitches jus’ dunno how to stay dead, do you ?❜
♞ ❛ Leave your name, number and nightmare at the tone.
FAQ !
TO HAVE AN ASK ANSWERED PRIVATELY, ADD AN "X" BEFORE IT.
WHY WASN'T MY ASK ANSWERED YET?
That is for two reasons: one, Tumblr ate the ask so I never received it or two, I simply haven't gotten to it since I tend to answer all of my asks at once and that implies slowness.
DO YOU ACCEPT ANON ROLEPLAYS?
I do, actually! I don't really dig nonnies for characters such as Sam or Cas, but anything else generally works.
OTHER PSA'S
Magic anons are not accepted.
I tend to not respond to ' pass this to the next 10 people ' in-character memes. Totally random and underrated messages are encouraged.
Crazy spamming of craziness is welcomed.
Any messages seeking advice on personal matters should rather be addressed to the mun for serious treatment.
001 ▌░ I UNFOLLOW untagged NSFW, disturbing triggers ( such as gore, torture & animal cruelty ), inactivity for longer than four weeks & if I don’t see a chance of interaction for us.
002 ▌░ I will role-play only with MUTUALS. Meaning, if I follow you & you follow me, then we can definitely interact.
003 ▌░ ROLE PLAYING: My role playing style consists of scripts, semi paras, paras & novellas, along with icons or ( more rarely ) gif icons. Most of the icons on this blog are edited by me & are fairly easy to distinguish since they are personalized. I really don’t like role playing without an image attached to my replies & chances are I might not interact with you if you don’t do it. I’m sorry, but this is my one insane & unfair pet peeve.
004 ▌░ FANDOMS & OC’S: I'm super open to interactions with OC's, as much as I am with canon characters. What I'm looking for in a canon portrayal needs to be present in an OC, too -- meaning decent grammar, about pages and rules etc. Nothing too extreme, I'd say. Crossovers are my guilty pleasure and given how basically anything is possible in the SPN universe, there aren't limits to the fandoms I can interact with. I might not know much or anything at all about your character/fandom, sometimes; in which case, I'd love to be filled in with some brief information. I won't role play with Winchester siblings, other than Sam and Adam. I won't interact with his sons/daughters.
005 ▌░ ACTIVITY & THREADS: I'm currently on summer break and about to start university in October, when activity might lower. Please be patient with me, since I'm pretty damn slow. I will drop threads out of the blue, specifically unplotted ones or those that are going nowhere. Unfortunately, I won't let you know about this, but you can shoot me a message and politely ask me about it.
006 ▌░ THE SHOW: I'm up to date with the series, aside from a few (boring) S10 episodes I haven't gotten around to watch. I don't have a main verse per say: I can follow the canon timeline or role play in past seasons. It all depends on which setting works best.
007 ▌░ SHIPPING: I’ve always shipped strictly based on chemistry, so if something sparks between our muses and we wish to develop it further, I’m open for it. Please note that Dean is canonically straight, but with a flexible sexuality in AU verses. Shipping is not my main priority, though, mostly because of bad experiences. Also from past experience, I know that Dean is very difficult to engage in a romantic relationship with. On the opposing side, he is fairly easy to engage in sexual relationships with. The younger he is, the more accessible. I don't ship Wincest and Destiel, unless platonic. The only show pairing I ship romantically is Chestervelle.
008 ▌░ NSFW: Despite Dean's inability to keep his lovestick to himself, most strictly sexual smutting will be time skipped. If romance comes into the mix, however, I'm definitely down for writing down the whole deed, for development purposes. Other NSFW content might be present, such as: violence, gore, torture etc.
009 ▌░ GREETERS: In order to avoid bothering people with unwanted starters, I won’t make any of them without receiving permission beforehand. I will most often do starter calls for it.
010 ▌░ ASKS: They can be turned into threads as long as you make new posts for them. If you don’t do it, I’ll know you haven’t read my rules & we won’t interact. Please read the FAQ underneath the askbox. Also, this is a dumb rule, but give the "leaving Dean a pie" messages a break. They are nice in intention, sure, but my inbox is full of them and replying to them has become such a hassle. He likes pie, yeah, but it's not his goddamn oxygen.
011 ▌░ MUSE: My portrayal is heavily influenced by the S1-S5 era, particularly by the pre-Hell seasons. I feel like the latter seasons have stripped Dean of his complexity and he spends most of his time pointlessly brooding, which doesn't personally appeal to me. Therefore, regardless of the season/setting I'm playing him in, he will probably have a pre-Hell aura without me actually trying. If you don't like this, move along and find other portrayals to fit your tastes and don't bother messaging me to change this.
012 ▌░ PLOTTING: If you'd like to plot/discuss a thread, we must interact at least a couple of times first. This way, we can test our chemistry as writers and our muse's chemistry. This is because, I'm aiming to build up long lasting verses that neither of us will lose interest in. For that, I need to be sure that I won't have to force replies because Dean won't cooperate. So - go ahead and interact with me! (: Write me up a starter, reply to an open, like a starter call, y'know the drill! My only request is to keep your starters fairly short, please. I can only reply to long starters if I have an idea about the direction and/or plot.
013 ▌░ ICONS: Personalized icons are not for public use.
If you've read all of this, thank you so much for doing so! I promise I'm much, much friendlier than I come off to be, but I've learned to be as explicit and blunt in my guidelines as possible, in order to ensure everyone's comfort in interactions.
And if you haven't read my rules, I'll likely be able to tell and I reserve the right to ignore your replies/messages.
Mun goes by the name Freya and I'm a nineteen year old girl from Romania, student at International Relations and European Studies with a PhD in lowkey embarassing myself in front of people. I have a Skype, which is available upon request to mutuals and another blog to run.
CHAOTIC GOOD //
combines a good heart with a free spirit.
GRYFFINDOR //
willingness to confront the darkness, to fight for the underdog, to explore and defend.
THE CAREGIVER //
core desire is to help and protect others.
ESTP, "THE DOER" //
blunt, straightforward risk takers, they are ready to jump into the action and get their hands dirty.
AQUARIUS //
don't follow conventional ways and invent new ways to think and implement.
ROWAN, "THE THINKER" //
highly influential, with a natural ability to transform situations and people around them.
TYPE 8, "THE CHALLENGER" //
have difficulty with their tempers and allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
CHOLERIC //
impulsive and restless; task oriented people who seek to get the job done efficiently.
