❛ what ‘bout now ? hm ? d'you only know 'bout this whole GREAT COST up till it gives me the black eyes ? what happens to you, then ? what happens when the black eyes’re gone?
as y'can see, i have a lot of questions. can’t shoot 'em at a dead guy, plus, m'not STUPID enough to t'hink that icin’ you s'gonna magically solve my problems. ❜
❛❛ do i look like i’m in the mood to be reminded that the thing that was supposed to be my homage to my mother’s career of directing and my dad’s writing career almost got me killed. so forgive me for trying to direct the subject into a new, less aggravating topic. ❜❜
« ———— ├ ᗪ ╰☆╮ ᙡ ┤———— »
❛ ————- right. robots & gay subtext are a lot less aggravating. ❜
It would’ve been seen as childish, had it been anyone else. The reasoning would’ve gone without understanding. Yet still, Sam remained optimistic, eyes remain silently upon him- words uttered with a gentle conviction.
Hand pressing against Dean’s back, words slow, careful. ”Dean,” he began, ”Don’t say that. We’re gonna find a way to fix this, okay? We’ll fix it. Just like we always have.”
the solace pressed into his back rips a jolt from his frame, as if he’s been a porcelain sculpture hanging to the edge of a shelf quaked by the fury of the undergrounds. his motion is nearly neurotic& his breathing doesn’t cease its DRUMMING rhythm. the quick movement of his lips indicates an attempt at collecting words off his tongue, though all he is able to do is sense the dampness of the ruby stains tainting his cheeks. it only seems to add fuel to the fire, for the only response he musters is one of an unvoiced despair —— trembling digits rise before his eyes, of a bleached hollowness& he feels U T T E R L Y monstrous, a storming rage within him giving him the need to tear his own skin off his bones.
CROWLEY. freaking crowley. fucking crowley. this is all his fault. it has to be. blame has to shoulder someone else, as far as the present tense stretches, at least. if he doesn’t struggle to channel the gas smoking through his innards, through a chest fragmented by shards, he might find a flicker to ignite said gas & set it ablaze. ultimately, he hasn’t peaked. oh, he is FAR from it. prompted against the hood of the car, imploding chased breaths & low hisses of distemper, it almost looks like he is battling to tame a panic attack, which it almost is, except it’s w o r s e —— he is trying to tame HIMSELF, to pour ice on the opened can of worms spewing a chaotic adrenaline in his core.
❛ i should’ve jus’ stayed dead. i should’ve stayed dead so many times. ❜
but, he didn’t.& all in order to shepherd him towards a path he wouldn’t wish to his worst enemies to walk.
♞ ❛ Leave your name, number and nightmare at the tone.
FAQ !
TO HAVE AN ASK ANSWERED PRIVATELY, ADD AN "X" BEFORE IT.
WHY WASN'T MY ASK ANSWERED YET?
That is for two reasons: one, Tumblr ate the ask so I never received it or two, I simply haven't gotten to it since I tend to answer all of my asks at once and that implies slowness.
DO YOU ACCEPT ANON ROLEPLAYS?
I do, actually! I don't really dig nonnies for characters such as Sam or Cas, but anything else generally works.
OTHER PSA'S
Magic anons are not accepted.
I tend to not respond to ' pass this to the next 10 people ' in-character memes. Totally random and underrated messages are encouraged.
Crazy spamming of craziness is welcomed.
Any messages seeking advice on personal matters should rather be addressed to the mun for serious treatment.
001 ▌░ I UNFOLLOW untagged NSFW, disturbing triggers ( such as gore, torture & animal cruelty ), inactivity for longer than four weeks & if I don’t see a chance of interaction for us.
002 ▌░ I will role-play only with MUTUALS. Meaning, if I follow you & you follow me, then we can definitely interact.
003 ▌░ ROLE PLAYING: My role playing style consists of scripts, semi paras, paras & novellas, along with icons or ( more rarely ) gif icons. Most of the icons on this blog are edited by me & are fairly easy to distinguish since they are personalized. I really don’t like role playing without an image attached to my replies & chances are I might not interact with you if you don’t do it. I’m sorry, but this is my one insane & unfair pet peeve.
004 ▌░ FANDOMS & OC’S: I'm super open to interactions with OC's, as much as I am with canon characters. What I'm looking for in a canon portrayal needs to be present in an OC, too -- meaning decent grammar, about pages and rules etc. Nothing too extreme, I'd say. Crossovers are my guilty pleasure and given how basically anything is possible in the SPN universe, there aren't limits to the fandoms I can interact with. I might not know much or anything at all about your character/fandom, sometimes; in which case, I'd love to be filled in with some brief information. I won't role play with Winchester siblings, other than Sam and Adam. I won't interact with his sons/daughters.
005 ▌░ ACTIVITY & THREADS: I'm currently on summer break and about to start university in October, when activity might lower. Please be patient with me, since I'm pretty damn slow. I will drop threads out of the blue, specifically unplotted ones or those that are going nowhere. Unfortunately, I won't let you know about this, but you can shoot me a message and politely ask me about it.
006 ▌░ THE SHOW: I'm up to date with the series, aside from a few (boring) S10 episodes I haven't gotten around to watch. I don't have a main verse per say: I can follow the canon timeline or role play in past seasons. It all depends on which setting works best.
007 ▌░ SHIPPING: I’ve always shipped strictly based on chemistry, so if something sparks between our muses and we wish to develop it further, I’m open for it. Please note that Dean is canonically straight, but with a flexible sexuality in AU verses. Shipping is not my main priority, though, mostly because of bad experiences. Also from past experience, I know that Dean is very difficult to engage in a romantic relationship with. On the opposing side, he is fairly easy to engage in sexual relationships with. The younger he is, the more accessible. I don't ship Wincest and Destiel, unless platonic. The only show pairing I ship romantically is Chestervelle.
008 ▌░ NSFW: Despite Dean's inability to keep his lovestick to himself, most strictly sexual smutting will be time skipped. If romance comes into the mix, however, I'm definitely down for writing down the whole deed, for development purposes. Other NSFW content might be present, such as: violence, gore, torture etc.
009 ▌░ GREETERS: In order to avoid bothering people with unwanted starters, I won’t make any of them without receiving permission beforehand. I will most often do starter calls for it.
010 ▌░ ASKS: They can be turned into threads as long as you make new posts for them. If you don’t do it, I’ll know you haven’t read my rules & we won’t interact. Please read the FAQ underneath the askbox. Also, this is a dumb rule, but give the "leaving Dean a pie" messages a break. They are nice in intention, sure, but my inbox is full of them and replying to them has become such a hassle. He likes pie, yeah, but it's not his goddamn oxygen.
011 ▌░ MUSE: My portrayal is heavily influenced by the S1-S5 era, particularly by the pre-Hell seasons. I feel like the latter seasons have stripped Dean of his complexity and he spends most of his time pointlessly brooding, which doesn't personally appeal to me. Therefore, regardless of the season/setting I'm playing him in, he will probably have a pre-Hell aura without me actually trying. If you don't like this, move along and find other portrayals to fit your tastes and don't bother messaging me to change this.
012 ▌░ PLOTTING: If you'd like to plot/discuss a thread, we must interact at least a couple of times first. This way, we can test our chemistry as writers and our muse's chemistry. This is because, I'm aiming to build up long lasting verses that neither of us will lose interest in. For that, I need to be sure that I won't have to force replies because Dean won't cooperate. So - go ahead and interact with me! (: Write me up a starter, reply to an open, like a starter call, y'know the drill! My only request is to keep your starters fairly short, please. I can only reply to long starters if I have an idea about the direction and/or plot.
013 ▌░ ICONS: Personalized icons are not for public use.
If you've read all of this, thank you so much for doing so! I promise I'm much, much friendlier than I come off to be, but I've learned to be as explicit and blunt in my guidelines as possible, in order to ensure everyone's comfort in interactions.
And if you haven't read my rules, I'll likely be able to tell and I reserve the right to ignore your replies/messages.
Mun goes by the name Freya and I'm a nineteen year old girl from Romania, student at International Relations and European Studies with a PhD in lowkey embarassing myself in front of people. I have a Skype, which is available upon request to mutuals and another blog to run.
CHAOTIC GOOD //
combines a good heart with a free spirit.
GRYFFINDOR //
willingness to confront the darkness, to fight for the underdog, to explore and defend.
THE CAREGIVER //
core desire is to help and protect others.
ESTP, "THE DOER" //
blunt, straightforward risk takers, they are ready to jump into the action and get their hands dirty.
AQUARIUS //
don't follow conventional ways and invent new ways to think and implement.
ROWAN, "THE THINKER" //
highly influential, with a natural ability to transform situations and people around them.
TYPE 8, "THE CHALLENGER" //
have difficulty with their tempers and allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
CHOLERIC //
impulsive and restless; task oriented people who seek to get the job done efficiently.
